That is messed up. You could at least have said something before tearing out my heart and devouring it like that. Now I will never know what I did or how I could have fixed it.
Did you have to be so harsh?
Wow. Just wow.
I can crochet weird looking hats now. Yay…I think.
Where did I go?
Where did I go?
I never really meant to disappear. It just sort of happened that way. I never put much though into details. Just do what I need to do and ask questions later. Don’t think too much on the past because it’s done and can’t be changed. Don’t ever think of the future because it may never happen. Deal with the present because at least it’s slightly certain. Or something like that.
It’s not like I had true plans. No blueprint to follow for greatness. No fallback. Nothing. Just stepping through time day by day. Hour by hour. Minute by minute. Second by second. Live in the now. And of course, it all blew up. By the time I got to a point in time where life should have laid itself out for a steady pace to old age, I found myself wandering aimless at an older square one. In a hopeless rut. All because of no careful planning for the future.
So I had to duck out. Figure out the next move. It just seemed too late to do all the things I wish I had done. I needed a game plan. How was I gonna progress and live like I knew I should? Have the things I knew I should have by the time I was this old? I needed to hide, to escape, to think, to revise.
And so it was decided. I needed to die. I needed to die to be reborn. To walk the Earth like I knew I should. With all the things I should have planned and worked for. With hope and dignity. With a little less weight and more sun on my face. It was time for the inevitable. It was time to die.